The power of a decision

Let's face it 2020 was a strange and challenging year for most of us.

For me in the positive, it was the start of my journey learning about reiki and energy and leaning into my spiritual side in order to overcome uncertainty, anxiety and fear.

In the negative, my relationship was fracturing, my kids were scared, I was concerned about running out of toilet paper, my children, my health, our future and I was being bullied into getting the covid vaccine in order to keep my job.

** Please note whilst I am not an anti-vaxxer, I am pro-choice and pro-human rights and believe I should have the autonomy to make my own decisions.

It took everything in my power not to run and never look back after I was hearded with many others into a room, yelled at by a nurse for waiting so long to recieve the jab as she aggressively stabbed me with the vaccine. Just like that from that moment my life changed forever in one decision to keep my job and ignore my body and intuition.

Since 2020, my complex and life changing injuries have been denied as vaccine injuries, instead re-branded as symptoms of a tired mother with anxiety and mental health issues and eventually symptoms of long covid, justifying experimental heart medication that GPs constantly question 5 years later (as its traditionally used for heart failure).

And this is where it gets weird. Today, after many years and influenced by free Metallica merch, I went to donate blood. A great experience, absolutely loved the friendly staff, Metallica merch, decorations, Metallica music was playing and free snacks up until I mention to the screening nurse of my experimental medication. Approximately 45 minutes later on doctors advice after I had tried to reassure I had no heart condition, the decision was made by the doctor on the phone (without my explanation) to deny me the opportunity to give blood as I was high risk (I completely disagree) and I had to wait until I was no longer on the medication and three years (approx 2028) symptom free (symptoms included dizziness and tiredness), before they would consider me able to donate. I actually had a feeling I wasn't going to give blood today, just didn't realise I would have to wait until 2028.

In shock and certainly with no blame, more frustration, I reflected, one decision in 2020 (vaccine), another decision in 2023 (medication) has left an impact at least until 2028 and in some cases beyond (for the rest of our lives). We are here to learn to grow and let's face it we make mistakes, we cave into pressure, obligations, fear and stop listening to ourselves. The one thing I regret the most, but I also forgive myself for now, is not listening to my intuition regarding the vaccine. Soon after, for unrelated reasons I lost the job and it didn't matter, as i've lost count of the job opportunities I have had since 2020. My takeaway is that I learnt to always trust my intuition, we all have a gut feeling, a knowing, instinct, whatever you choose to label it, it's there for a reason to keep us safe.

Please note: for the experience the kind staff, allowed me to keep my metallica merch. A big shout out to Metallica for supporting the blood drive collaboration globally in alignment to their upcoming tour: https://www.lifeblood.com.au/metallica.